Hip Hop Lives Online: We Make the World Go Round

A few weeks ago, I was going to blog about all the chain snatching that has befallen our lovely artists, and make a nice point that instead of an artist buying a crayon box full of colored diamonds around their neck, they should hit up some of these non-profits that give back to the community, so people can find jobs so they can stop robbing artists. But I guess take it if you can comes to mind. But I digress…

So I’m being nosy and what’s getting me, is the financial distress that some of these “moguls” and Hip-Hop heavyweights are under.

Here’s a rundown of 2008’s financial casualties that I know of:

1. Lil’ Kim - We all saw the video of her Bentley being repo’d, (is that ed or ‘d…whatever), whether the payments were her responsibility or not, I guess that was the beginning to the end.
2. Scott Storch - In just 2006, Storch was most notably one of Hip-Hop’s biggest producers, banking a cool $70 Mil. Yeah, you heard me right 70 MILLION DOLLARS, according to my calculator that would feed, shelter and clothe my family for 875 years at $80,000 a year, which to me is a comfortable lifestyle. And now he’s having public auctions for his stuff on Craigslist? Wow!!
3. Damon Dash - Just had his Chevy Tahoe repossessed after not being able to pay his $750.00 a month payment on the truck. Damn Dame, no smart investments, (although, I don’t think it would help in this economy), but not even a Roth IRA, you know you can take out that money tax free for emergencies?

Back in the day, I remember artists coming out and telling everyone to get their money right, when younger artists were getting their proverbial asses handed to them by the labels. Well they started paying attention, I think, to their contracts, but really they must have been still spending more than they could afford, because I know my 70 Mil, would be hidden in some off shore account. Sure I may splurge and get me a nice house and a truck that doesn’t wanna die on me at the gas station…damn truck! But I know my priorities, making sure college is available to the kids and making sure I can live nicely when I’m 75 (about the age I’m going to be able to collect Social Security), and able to retire. Again off subject.

So that goes back to my original idea of writing about the chain snatching. Here are some outsider tips for the above individuals:

1. Send your old gold to Cash4Gold. I think you can look them up on the internet. But send ‘em your gold toilets, chandeliers…everything. Strip that house down before it goes into foreclosure. But does anyone have gold toilets besides Russell Simmons?
2. Uh, start wearing your white tees and breast bearing dresses more than once.
3. Craigslist. Start selling; you’ll get rid of all those extra diamonds quick.
4. Start producing any and everything that will sell. I advise Scott Storch to stay away from this, because I think producing for Brook Hogan and Paris Hilton might have been your downfall.
5. Start flipping houses. Oh wait, maybe with your credit you might not qualify, that’s a bad look, my fault!

Does anyone else have any ideas? I’m still trippin on Storch’s 70 Mil. 70 Million DAMN!! Maybe they should see Wu-Tang Financial…

And with that I’m out!

Jen

This blog does not reflect the opinions of HHLO.net and it’s staff. It is meant as a comical look into the financial changes in the industry.